Sunday night we got a surprise, 8 inches of snow which looks like it is going to stick. The daylight hours are getting shorter and shorter while the dark takes over, in more ways than one. Normally the first snow is gone in just a few days.
Every day this week Weather.com has said it is going to be warmer the next day, and then it gets colder instead. Right now it is 9 degrees fahrenheit here in Chugiak, Alaska as I type. This has been a rough week for me from many different perspectives. To be honest, I am doing my best cruising forward on very low energy.
Today we start on Scroll II of the Greatest Salesman, plus this week is assigned to build a dreamboard. A dreamboard on steroids because of linking thoughts, shapes, colors, dates and goals. I still don’t have mine completed, and I’m repeating “Do it Now” as I write this blog post.
I came back to Alaska after many years away to stand by a friend, who is now gone, as he was living his final years, and for another relationship that didn’t pan out.
At the moment my goals seem too lofty, the paths too blocked, the assignments too hard. My body too tired, loneliness is overwhelming, and collaboration I’d hoped for insufficient. And it is amazing how much it sucks to be misunderstood. Pools of pity? Perhaps.
If I were a quitter, I would. Yet I still keep expecting that promised transition point in this course to arrive soon.
Because the only way I will stay in the dark, is if it kills me. With love in my heart it has to bring light, doesn’t it?
Light will shine into my life again soon. Waiting is hard, but I know it. Now I need to know that I know it.